Some men seem to feel compelled to add, "Oh but I am sure many men have told you that." -- after saying, "You are very beautiful.”
And I wonder why? Granted, it’s much better than saying, “You are very beautiful, I am sure I'm the only man to have told you that.” But would you even consider saying this to a proud new father, "You baby girl is adorable, but I'm sure many people have told you that!"
So why do men do it? Do they just want to sound suave and charming whilst also protecting themselves from the cliché? Or are they trying, in an undiplomatic way, to figure out how much competition they have? And does it really sound more complimentary to women? I don’t know, but personally I think it only shows the insecurity.
I know I am thinking too much as always. But the thing is, women often pay each other compliments too and we never add, “but I’m sure you’ve already heard that many times before.”
It’s not that I’m uptight about getting a compliment. But when a man uses it as a pick-up line, it often makes me turn defensive and feels the need to start explaining that beauty is only skin deep, and I've never considered myself beautiful, blah blah blah… But when someone, men or women, tells me simply and genuinely that I am beautiful, I can always feel that and I just smile back and say thanks.
Of course it’s always nice to receive compliments. But to be honest I don’t have the star complex. I don’t need to be beautiful to everyone. I’ve always only wanted to be beautiful to one man - the man I love. That’s more than enough for me.
But if we do it at all, please let’s keep it simple:
He: You are very beautiful.
She: Thank you.
See, that’s easy. You can do it too!