Seasons In the Sun

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iA6BqS9FlQ0

The other day I walked into Zara, sun on my back, sweat on my face, relived to have some free air-conditioning, and then I found all the clothes in the shop were already in autumn fashion, with dark colors, long-sleeves and fur trims.

I saw this drop-dead gorgeous white down jacket there, although I wonder who in her right mind would pick it up and try it on, when it was 34 degrees outside!

When the seasons start to change, I first take inventory of my last year collection, then I do some market research like window shopping and observing other girls on the street, and finally decide to buy something must-have for this season. It could be a leopard-print scarf, a funky long pearly necklace, or a pair of black, knee-high suede boots.

Although fashion is one of my passions, I refuse to pay top dollar so that I can look exactly the same as everyone else! I am usually a good girl and can wait till the sale, except for something I fall in love with at the first sight.

Some of my friends are ready for the coming autumn. The have just bought some new clothes they absolutely have to have and now they are waiting for the first chance to show off their autumn style.

This morning I read the latest Vogue in the saloon and surprise surprise, it seems this autumn's fashion is not much different from last autumn’s, or the year before for that matter.

Anyway I don't know why some people read those magazines like bible. The models all look either angry or depressed, perhaps because they are hungry and harassed?

Summertime

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWFJLUBwpSY

Autumn is early in Tokyo this year. We had a rather cold week, and now looking at all the fallen yellow leaves on the street makes me realize all over again how fast time flies by.

This time every year, cicadas scream louder, mosquitoes get hungrier, and everyone tries desperately to cling onto every last bit of summer they can have.

I used to love autumn, even though it can be quite sentimental. I suppose I just love the vibrant colors of autumn leave and the cooler and fresher air.

But now I adore summer. I can never have enough of summer! And this summer has almost disappeared when I still haven’t gone through my long list of summer fun.

Let’s see, hmmmmm, things I have accomplished:

-- Trying all the new flavors in Baskin Robins

-- Compiling the playlist “Songs For the Summer”

-- Dancing till I dropped at the club

-- BBQ-ing and stuffing myself nearly sick with different kinds of meat, meat and more meat

And things I still have to do before all the leaves on the trees are gone:

-- Wearing all my slutty summer dresses

-- Learning how to play (the piano) and sing the song “Summertime” simultaneously

-- Finding the prefect golden open-toed sandals with red soles and 5-inch heels

-- Going to a summer festival wearing a traditional Japanese yukata

-- Going to the beach to show off my new halter-top black bikini

Poor, busy me!

Coffee Song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9BRGBUAh0w&feature=related

Why does coffee smell especially good in the morning? I think we are all conditioned! I can't start my day without a cup of coffee first. I believe coffee wakes me up and keeps me going, although in the morning I move very slowly so I have to settle for instant coffee to kick-start my brain.

Many of my friends are coffee junkies. Their lives depend on the constant supply of coffee and they have to keep an emergency stack.

But coffee is not just a necessity. I enjoy the whole experience, from making a cup of coffee to slowly appreciating the smell, the taste, and watching the milk swirling in it. And combined with the sweets I love such as cakes, pies, tarts, chocolate, it’s definitely better than sex sometimes! Well, both are recreational anyway…

I guess that’s why coffee is often associated with having a break, especially when we are sick and tired of the faces of our coworkers.

Making coffee is an art. I am the proud owner of 3 coffee mills, an antique wooden thing, another a normal household appliance, and finally a high-tech, all-mighty tool that can grind a tree as well. I also have a traditional espresso machine and an electric one. And now I am thinking about buying a proper industrial machine!

The exciting part of making coffee is that the result is different every time, depending on how the beans are roasted, how fine you grind them, what equipment you choose to make the coffee, how hot the water is, etc. The final product is not just a simmering cup of coffee.

And next, how you drink it can also make a huge difference. Some people prefer it to look and taste like brown water, while others can only enjoy it bitter and strong. Some people add so much milk that they are actually drinking coffee-flavored milk. But other people like it black. And sugar? Cinnamon? Cocoa powder? There are simply too many variations!!

Personally I like it bitter and strong, but sometimes white and sometimes black, depending on my moods and what sweets I have with.

Of course coffee beans in Japan don't come cheap, like everything else here. But I am willing to sacrifice quantity for quality.

And anyway I have to be careful not to drink too much coffee since my body is highly sensitive to caffeine, which probably also explains why I like it so much.

Forbidden fruits are always the sweetest, aren't they???

Just Walking In The Rain

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCjTWYoRTzM

From about 3 years ago, we started to have torrential rain here in Tokyo every summer. They come suddenly and violently, overflow the rivers and flood the streets.

They can be very dangerous. Some city employees cleaning the sewers and school children playing at the riverside were flushed away in a flash.

I was trapped in a bus the other day during one of these storms. And the bus was trapped in the traffic.

Most people don't like rainy days. But I happen to love the sound of the rain. So I don't really mind.

Tokyo people are usually in a hurry for some reason, everybody rushes around purposefully and politely.

I watched my fellow passengers getting more and more agitated with every minute passed, and suddenly rememberd a Chinese poem about listening to the rain.

   While young I listened to the rain in the brothel.
   Beside a red candle, in a silk-curtained bed.
   In my prime I travelled and listened to the rain on the riverboat,
   Beneath the cloud where the wild geese cried,
   And the wind blew from the west.
   Now I listen to the rain in the temple and my hair has become gray.
   We meet and part with joy and sorrow, 
   Let the raindrops drip till tomorrow.

Starting Over

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAJ2AoEwDvY

Compare with my second marriage though, my disastrous first marriage was a fairy tale. My second husband cheated on me half of the time we were together

I’ve passed the stages feeling shocked, humiliated, ashamed, self-pity, angry, suicidal, bitter, hatred and all that. Now I just want to be myself, and try to be happy without hurting anyone.

It was laughable when a friend of mine suggested the problem with me is giving up too fast, when I was with my first husband for 7 years, and the second for 12 years!

Sometimes I wonder why I even bother. Many of my girlfriends are single, and very happy. They believe they don’t need any men in their lives and most men are weak, selfish and unreliable anyway.

I asked them if they were afraid of dying alone one day in their old age. And their answer was, everyone dies alone one day, sooner or later and one way or another.

Of course they are right about that, but before we die, doesn’t it make more sense if we can share our lives meaningfully with someone we love? Or is it just another ambitious dream of mine?

I am such a dreamer, I know!!!

Let's Stick Together

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9EbR0ckb40&ob=av3e

My first marriage was such a cliché, with all the elements of a B-class movie, from the dreamy romance of the young lovers, the disproval of the conservative and rich parents, to the impulsive elope, fiery family conflicts, teary compromises, vows of undying love, and the predictable heart-breaking finale, divorce.

Although I don’t really blame him, we were both too naïve then, but I do believe he was too weak and quick to give in to family pressure, after hiding our marriage from his parents for 5 years.

I know he did love me before, but it was just not enough for him to stand up to his parents who refused to let their eldest son and the heir to the family business empire marry (openly) to a foreigner from a middle-class family.

He had to fly to Dominican Republic to get the divorce done. I didn’t ask for any alimony, because I didn’t marry him for money. All I wanted was to have my freedom back.

But most of all, I have been keeping it quiet. I don’t feel the need to stir up a scandal and cause any trouble. Now he is remarried with an heiress whose daddy owns a football team and a city in North Japan. They have 3 kids.

I am only too glad I got out before I went completely mental!

Drama Queen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaRjlzCOK78

My life so far is way too dramatic even for a drama queen. I have had countless marriages proposals and 2 divorces already. Who knows, if I hurry up, I might even beat Elizabeth Taylor!

Do I look for thrill all the time? Well some of my disgruntled exes would certainly like to believe that I am simply addicted to making people fall in love with me, but I do fall in love sometimes too, although usually with the wrong guys.

Besides, I don’t “make” anyone fall in love with me. I don't have time for games. And one thing I insist in my pursuit of love is never to hurt anyone on purpose.

To be honest, I crave stability and simplicity, but somehow I find myself keep wandering, from place to place and from man to man.

When I hear declaration of love, I often can’t decide if I should be impressed or depressed. And when I am asked for my hand in marriage, I usually have to stall for an answer.

Thus I keep wandering, while wondering what’s wrong with me.

Something To Talk About

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z04r_tlWdRs

Why are boobs such a fascinating topic for men? Is it only because men don't have them???

Men study them privately, talk about them with their mates in the pub and sometimes they even discuss them openly.

Yesterday I happened to read a Facebook conversation between 2 guys, agreeing with each other how they despise women with padded bras.

Funny enough, it was not the first time I read about how men feel cheated by bra pads.

Now is it cheating? I suppose technically it is. But here in Japan, it is IMPOSSIBLE to buy padless bras!! And every bra you buy will come with 2 extra removable pads, in addition to the already heavily padded bra.

That's why whenever I travel abroad, I buy paddles bras. And of course I also collect lingerie for fun...

Seriously, I understand why men feel cheated, but then how about make-up, high-heels, nail polish and wigs?

Another thing is, men feel OK to openly discuss boobs and bras, but I’ve never read any open debate on FB about penises and men's underwear, not to mention men boobs, or “moobs” in short.

I think it’s high time someone started a talk on FB about the size of penises, the pros and cons of length vs. girth, and the benefits of boxers vs. briefs, etc!

Born Free

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bu3rsha1ZtI

I hate zoos and aquariums. I believe animals shouldn’t be imprisoned and caged. I refuse to go to the circus because I think people have the free will to decide whether jumping through a ring of fire is fun or not, while circus animals don’t.

When I stood inside the Coliseum in Rome many years ago, somehow I unexpectedly burst into tears, feeling the sudden chill in the air and thinking about all those desperate animals being forced to fight till they died, just to entertain people.  

Animal experiments? Well, I’d rather die in agony than take the latest medicine tested on animals, knowing many innocent lives have been sacrificed for me to live just one week longer.

So naturally I am against having pets, especially after witnessing the cruelty at puppy mills and pet shops, and the misery of the abandoned animals at the shelters.

Believe it or not, I was frightened of dogs before. Yes, frightened. I would take a longer route just to avoid some dogs on the street. And no, I am not a vegetarian. I eat animals, happily and gratefully.

9 years ago, one of my friends dropped dead in the office out of the blue, the famous “karoushi” in Japan, death due to overwork. I rescued one of his dogs, a puppy back then, even when I was still afraid of dogs at that time.

And then I promptly fell in love with the puppy, head over heels. During those 8 years with him, taking care of him day after day, I also learned about the purest form of love, the unconditional love.

He is gone now, but I dream about him sometimes, and I think of him almost every day. He is still living deeply in my heart. And I thank him for all the things I have learned from him.

Kokomo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_5_AD9wXuY

For many people, summer means the beach. But for me, the only thing I can do at the beach is purely decorative. I can’t swim!

Of course I did take swimming lessons before, like everyone else. But I just hate swallowing the dirty water soooo much that I can never learn how to breathe properly in the water. (Yeah, I am a spitter!)

Besides, I really don’t see the point. God didn’t give us gills for a reason. And we shouldn’t fly either, because we don’t have wings.

We walk usually, and we run only when necessary. It’s very simple.

Some of my friends are surfers. I think they are just trying to be fish and bird at the same time. Very cute!

Having said that, I can definitely see the reason why people want to go to the beach on a hot summer day like today. Although I can’t swim, I can still play with the cool sea water or try to build an even cooler sand castle.

But then again, I will have to cover myself with layers and layers of SPF 50 sunscreen, in case I feel the need to expose any part of my body.

Hmmm, I remember now, I still have a brand new black halter-top bikini I bought last year. To be honest, I still don’t know why I bought it. And now I wonder if I will ever wear it…

Karmacoma

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbZPyWI0Wds

It's now Obon holiday here in Japan. Many people are taking their summer holiday somewhere. So Tokyo is pleasantly empty at the moment.

There are no packed trains anymore and the air is somehow fresher. That's why I decided to stay in Tokyo this year, even though it's still depressingly hot every day!

And I am usually home, focus on eating ice cream and drinking lemonade, while enjoying the view of the blue sky and the chorus of cicadas from a safe distance and with the comfort of my Mac and iTunes.

Many of my friends are holidaying now, either at a crowded beach somewhere in Japan or back at their home countries visiting families.

I chatted to one of them on skype yesterday, a scientist on holiday. Usually he is terrifyingly sharp, but yesterday his skype chat was so slow that I almost fell asleep.

It seems his brains are also on holiday. I had to ask him if he was typing with his nose.

But actually I secretly envy him. I think I need a holiday just like that, giving my brains a desperately- needed, well-deserved break. Stop analyzing for once, and just eating, sleeping and resting like a baby elephant.

Now the question is, how long does my dream holiday have to be, for my brains to finally surrender and give up any thinking?

Bald Head

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2eCeO0ly3g

I always think Bruce Willis is very sexy, in a rough and rugged way. But if a man says he looks like Bruce Willis, I would be immediately on alert, although I have nothing against baldheads in general.

The reason is most bald men are not exactly as sexy as Bruce, but the worst thing is, they know it very well too! And this complex can be extremely difficult to deal with for their partners.

Personally I don’t find baldheads esthetically offensive, in fact, I can even appreciate the masculine beauty in them. But I definitely prefer men with at least 80% of their natural hair remaining intact on their heads.

On the other hand, women with bald heads can be devastatingly sexy. They are willingly bald, often very confident in their looks and they know without any hair, they can easily show off their delicate female face profiles to the best advantage.

But most of all, it’s their confidence which really illuminates their faces. The weird thing is, bald men seldom have this kind of confidence.

Once at a pub I frequent, I saw a female singer on stage singing Jazz in her raspy voice, a pint of Guinness in one hand and a fag in the other. I was amazed how she could manage so many things at once, singing, drinking, smoking and having occasional coughing fits, all simultaneously and effortlessly. She is completely bald and at the same time, radiant!

Stand By Me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vbg7YoXiKn0

When you listen to a new song, do you listen to the lyrics first or the melody first?

What's your favorite song? Do you like it because of the lyrics or melody?

Two of my friends never listen to any lyrics. It's quite an accomplishment, in my opinion.

As for me, the bass line is the first thing I notice. I tend to fall in love with strong and distinctive beats immediately.

The composition structure is also an important factor. I prefer simple structure because the simple things are often the most beautiful. And I insist on real instruments because I believe humans should be more creative and expressive than computers.

But the deciding factor is the melody, which I can get trapped in for years. And again a good tune is never complicated.

Lyrics are often just the human voice component of the songs, an instrument to me, although words could also be the most powerful element in a song if they are really well written.

Everyone has a different taste in music. I have never met anyone with the same taste as mine, which is a good thing, I suppose.

Not many songs can get both melodies and lyrics right. Most pop songs now are just mass-produced trash. The melodies are interchangeable and almost all identical and the lyrics are non-existing sometimes.

One of the Japanese songs I unfortunately came across recently has only one line, “woo-wao-woo,” or something like that! I am not even sure if the singer can actually speak or not.

I much prefer old songs. Give me a song like “Stand By Me” anytime!

Rehab

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUmZp8pR1uc&ob=av3e

Sometimes I wonder if I should just start writing science fictions, erotic fantasies or children's stories, in order not to offend anyone. But unlike all the talented writers, it seems I can only draw inspiration from real life, MY life!

And I love writing, OK, it’s an understatement, I am addicted to writing! But I am not writing a diary because you shouldn’t believe everything I say here, and I have no need to share my life with strangers. I simply enjoy the creating process. Words are fascinating.

One of the things I studied before was journalism. I know how to make news. Another thing I studied was accounting, so I also know how to manipulate numbers.

Well, you can probably say I am creative. Hey, I can say anything I want here, it’s my blog. Read it or leave it!

I thought I had made it very clear that I am not writing a newspaper article or producing a balance sheet here, but some people seem to think everything I report here should be all backed up by hard evidence, and before I publish each blog entry, I should always obtain permission from every person I ever mention, preferably in paper and properly signed of course.

So for example, if I write about a black BMW, I should first do my fact check to verify if it's really black, and it would be even better if I could acquire a photo or two to show my readers the car is in fact black, not white!

Secondly, I should also get the permission from the car if it would be OK that I mentioned it in my blog. In case the car refuses to be exploited as my writing material, then I should never mention the car.

Of course I don’t want to be sued for libel, so yes, I have taken all the required steps, and I’ve got the photos and the written statement of the damn car ready here, if you are interested.

And in the meantime I shall keep writing, since I still firmly believe in the freedom of speech, and besides, I’ve got no money to go to rehab for my writing addiction anyway!

Gonna Make You Sweat

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xl_F74xBvkk

It has been unbearably hot and humid every day. When the repressing air is still and stale, you can almost wring the water out of it. You walk out of the door, and the suffocating heat hits you on the face, quickly envelopes your body, and sinks brutally into every pore of your skin.

The relentless heat has forced many people seeking refugees in cafes, shops, or sometimes, museums.

I went to a reception at the Museum of Modern Art the other day. One of the pieces displayed that day was a painting 80% covered with black ink. I think the title was “The Accident.” There was also a curious piece with 2 wires sticking out which should be entitled “The Extra Material From The Garage.”

It was great fun renaming all the artwork you take a fancy to. Seriously, you should try it next time when you run out of entertainment options.

But after an hour in the museum, I was half frozen from the powerful air-conditioning. So I made my escape, but as soon as I stepped out of the museum, the ruthless heat and malicious humidity almost choked me, and the beautiful finger food I just had started to protest in my poor surprised stomach that was over chilled first, then overstuffed and finally overheated suddenly.

I did manage to keep the food in until I got back home though. God, I haven’t been so sick for years. You see, too much modern art is not good for you!

Running Scared

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvZlEAP5Z28

One of my friends bought a car last month, a black BMW.

I drove before, but not after I moved to Tokyo. And the extent of my knowledge about cars is appallingly limited.

The only 2 things I usually notice when I see a car are the color and the maker.

Pink is good, but very rare. Red is my second favorite, and black or blue are also acceptable.

About the maker though, I've never been into brands. And I hate speed, which also rules out sports cars, even if I try my best to ignore the ridiculous image often associated with the people behind their wheels.

My first car was a sensible, reliable, brand-new blue Toyota. I was a very careful driver because I only hit still targets such as garage walls or parked cars. And I crawled.

The driving test was the only exam I have ever failed in my life so far.

I have zero sense of directions if there are no shops involved, which makes my driving an adventure every single time. If I don't follow the same route, I get lost immediately. And don’t even mention GPS now, I am hopeless with maps, even if I turn them around in all angles..

Well I guess I shouldn't really be allowed to drive anywhere, so why bother getting myself a car anyway, especially here in Tokyo, when there is a Yamanote train every 2 minutes?

Que Si Que No

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhJc01VYXtI

We had the final exam this week. I am doing the grading now. But sometimes it’s a very tough decision whether I should let some of them pass or not.

Of course I am always trying to be fair, but as a principle, I don’t like to fail anyone. The reason is, oh well, when I was a uni student myself, I was the worst nightmare of my teachers!!

I skipped the lessons so often that once my teacher was forced to send a classmate to ask if I had actually registered at the school that semester… And all my classmates were so pissed off when I accidentally won the scholarships at the end of the semester!

The thing is, I was soooooo busy! I was a member of the uni orchestra, played the piano for the choir, and at the same time edited the school newspaper. I simply didn’t have any time to go to the classes!!!

Back then I had so many ambitious dreams, but none of them ever involved becoming a teacher myself! And now as a teacher, I feel I am in no position to ask my students to do something I didn’t care to do myself before, namely, study!

If they happen to come to my class, great! If they choose not to, fine. I keep telling them if they just come to my class for the attendance, but don’t pay any attention at all, I would rather have them out of my classroom and do something else they are actually interested in.

Having said that, I was still very surprised when I saw some of the students showing up for the final exam who I had never laid eyes upon before. I had to restrain myself from going up to them and saying nice-to-meet-u!

So now the question is, pass or fail, yes or no????

She’s A lady

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpsGh4Amt44&feature=related

I had lunch with a friend at my favorite French restaurant in Shinagawa last week. We were having coffee when a graceful western lady walked in. She sat down next to us with her friend.

I couldn't help admiring her. She is in her late 50's, has a boyish haircut and a figure like a girl's. She was wearing a simple short black dress and a silver necklace.

But what drew my attention was the way she carried herself. She has a rare elegance, natural and effortless, which can only come from within.

I told my friend I wanted to grow up just like her !!　

In fact, I had to try very hard not to stare. I asked my friend whether it would be rude to go and talk to her. And she said it would be quite unusual, but she would try to talk her, even though she didn't think it would be witty enough to say something like, 'My friend and I are just talking about how beautiful you are!'

So I suggested she say, 'My friend and I are just talking about you. Beautiful is such an understatement for you!' instead. And she agreed.

But later she almost chickened out. I had to egg her on. And she finally gathered enough courage to approach the object of our admiration and deliver our little declaration.

The older lady was so pleased, although obviously a bit embarrassed. She told us we had made her day.

The memory of her smile still warms me now.

Sentimental Journey

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XsTy-dFjiak&feature=related

When you travel, do you listen to your music collection?

One of my master theses is on the effects of using familiar tunes in TV commercials. But like all the research papers, there is no real conclusion in my thesis, although I do believe familiar tunes relax and comfort us, like a safety blanket, especially when we are in a new environment, such as traveling.

And that's why I never listen to my own music collection when I travel. I also refuse to eat Japanese food or watch BBC/CNN news, because it reminds me too much of home.

I love traveling! Every trip is an adventure. Why would I take the element of excitement out of it by doing something I normally do at home anyway, except of course, showering and basic grooming?

Although I enjoy the unexpected and unknown aspects of travel, I always plan my trips down to the minute, because fantasizing about the journey is the best part of it!

So before each trip, I first start an extensive research on the internet, using all possible websites including reviews of quirky tourist spots, best local restaurants, and hottest clothing shops. And since I happen to know several languages, I usually check all sorts of websites written by people from different countries. It’s very interesting to see the differences in people’s preferences from different parts of the world.

But to be honest, I never follow my carefully-organized plan 100%. I only enjoy making the plans...(yeah, the geeky side of me!)

I always traveled alone, although I am hoping it will soon change. I used to love my solo trips, even though that usually meant I couldn’t go to some restaurants because I was alone. But it would be nice to have someone to enjoy the local cuisine and the sunset at the sea with, don’t you think?