Hooked On A Feeling

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUXWCL7pVbY&feature=fvst

I love cooking. Japanese, Chinese, Thai, Vietnamese, Indian, Italian, French, American, Mexican... You name it!

For many years I have been collecting cookbooks and recipes. Everywhere I visit, I go to the local bookshops and buy a cookbook or two. Having said that, I don't really know why I collect them, because I never follow the recipes anyway...

Although most people find cooking therapeutic, I simply love the experiments. It's exciting because you never know exactly what will come out of them. The results are different every time! And even if they fail miserably, you can usually eat the results anyway, in case you don't have a dog, I mean.

I believe my passion for cooking is probably genetic. We have this uncontrollable urge to feed people. Oh hang on, or perhaps it's just our habit of vicarious eating?

My kitchen is my pride and joy, specially designed for any hardcore, heavy-duty experiments. I often have cooking parties here and try my best not to mass-poison people.

Although over the years I have learned some tricks, for example, in general, people's appreciation of my food is directly in proportion to the length of time I keep them waiting and the amount of alcohol I provide.

Well, I am proud to say people usually leave my parties gastronomically content and helplessly drunk!

Ice Ice Baby

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rog8ou-ZepE&ob=av2e

Everybody likes ice cream. I am not really ashamed to admit my addiction to ice cream. Everyday I find an excuse to go to the local Baskin-Robbins to have my fix.

Yesterday I met a friend for a chat and of course we had to conduct it while wolfing down 3 big scoops of ice cream each.

On a hot day like today when I have absolutely no appetite, what else can I eat, other than something as refreshing and nutritious as ice cream?

And the flavors! After carefully sampling all they have to offer in their tiny shop, now I always have the same 2 flavors every time I go there, Love Potion 31 and Jamoca Almond Fudge, every single time.

You see, once I figure out what's the best, I stick to my choice. I am adventurous by nature, and I will normally give everything at least one chance, as long as it's not the remains of some exotic animals on my dining table.

The same principle also applies to men in general, exotic or not, although I am even pickier if nothing else. You see, I don’t give just anyone a chance. I choose carefully, but once I commit, I stick to my choice stubbornly because I know only my favorite flavor can satisfy me.

Tomorrow I am taking a student out to celebrate the job offer she just got from her dream department of her dream company. Hmmm, I wonder where we will go...

Mess Around

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TgxQg3Z818&feature=related

The flea markets in Tokyo are real treasure hunts. I love going through other people's junk and add to my own junk collection.

Japanese people throw away all sorts of stuff still in perfect conditions, or sell it in the flea market at unbelievably low prices.

So if you go to the flea market, you can find something you didn't know that you always wanted! For example, last month one of my friends got a wig for free at a flea market! And once I bought a helmet for the bicycle I still haven't got around to buy but I know I most certainly will one day.

But usually I go to the flea market to buy clothes and jewelry, then fix or redesign them at home. It's great fun to produce even more junk!

The people in the flea market are often very friendly, although they can also be brutally honest. Once I was trying on a leather jacket and its first owner, a young and fashionable girl, kindly informed me that the big jacket looked aesthetically offensive on my rather petit form.

Having said that, it’s great to be petit sometimes. I always find superb size-2 castaways at the flea market, while I usually have trouble finding my size in the shops, especially when I go abroad where huge people live, and then I have to shop at the children’s department.

Now after years of shopping at the flea market, I have collected enough junk to open a proper shop myself, although I would definitely make the worst shopkeeper because it often takes me more than 10 minutes to locate anything in my closet. It's like a treasure hunt at home too!

Soul Bossa Nova

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLQ7xYnyIBQ

I talked to a friend on Skype yesterday. Perhaps it was something in her voice when she told me how much she loved music, so I decided to tell her about this amazing dream I had the night before. In my dream, I was playing the piano, composing 2 very different pieces, and I felt as if I was flying in the sky, so free and happy!

I still remembered the tunes when I woke up from the dream, but then my brain was still half asleep, so I didn't write them down. And the next morning when I woke up again, I completely forgot about the tunes, of course.

When I was a little girl, I used to have vivid dreams of composing music or conducting an orchestra, but the dreams stopped after many years of learning how to play the piano properly. Now if you put me in front of a piano without any score sheets, my fingers get frozen automatically, too afraid to move.

I don’t know why I suddenly had the dream again that night, after so many years.

But I still believe perhaps I had some connection with classical music somehow and sometime in my previous lives. Who knows, I might have been one of the many lover Beethoven had!

Ooh La La

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHlhOgQ36m8

Last week after my class, I ran into one of my students, a 27-year-old German who dropped out of my class last year, after writing me a long email explaining he had to quit school for a while due to his depression and telling me how much he liked my lessons and thanked me.

So I was very glad to see him back at school. But he blushed when he saw me, then mumbled something like “nice dress,” and blushed even more.

Yuk, my student! So I had to put my stern professor look on and quickly inquired about his mental state, job and study.

The other day, one of my students sent me an SMS saying, “I have a big problem. Please help me!” Although she is only 18, she is smart, funny and very sensible. I’m really proud of her. So you can imagine how worried I was when I got her SMS.

I replied immediately. But she didn’t answer until that evening, saying she had solved the problem herself, and she would tell me all about it next time we meet, although she was afraid it was rather embarrassing.

Of course I was relieved. But I was also very glad that she had asked me for help. Now I can’t wait to hear her story!

Yesterday another student suddenly called to tell me she just got a job offer from a well-known company. I was so happy for her, because I encouraged her to have a big dream and helped her to write the application letter for that job. We agreed to celebrate at my favorite ice cream shop next week!

This week, we had the midterm. Before the exam, I explained the rules, and told them each mistake will cost 5 points deduction. And then a French student asked me if they could have one  “free” mistake.

I carefully considered his suggestion, but had to say no eventually, since it wouldn’t be fair for those students who didn’t make any mistakes.

But I like his way of thinking, and I love the fact that he knows it is OK to bargain with me!

I’d Like To Teach The World To Sing

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GloZUxqUtNk

I love teaching. It’s so rewarding to be surrounded by many shining eyes, knowing that I’m doing something to inspire people on a daily basis and change their lives, hopefully for the better.

Being with students always makes me happy, and I think they all enjoy my lessons because they know that too.

I am certainly not a normal teacher though. Sometimes I feel more like a Disney character when my students ask to have a pic taken with me!

As you might have heard, Japanese students tend to be very quiet in the class, but somehow I always end up with naughty students, who I prefer anyway.

I often tell them how important independent thinking is. I even ask them to challenge me if they think they deserve higher grades.

Although some students do fall asleep in the class sometimes, I usually have their 100% attention, especially after I threaten to fall asleep too if they do.

My class is always very lively and full of laugher. I am definitely not a clown, but learning doesn’t have to be all serious and boring.

I also tell my students again and again that mistakes are not only allowed in my class, but also encouraged and even required!

Everyone needs to make mistakes in order to learn. Me included!

Shake Senora

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfhsj3b_y48

After the earthquake, Tokyo is definitely not the same any more. Many of my friends have left, and even I’m thinking about leaving myself too.

But most of the Japanese are staying exactly where they are, stubbornly refusing to bulge. They remind me of that Jack Russell terrier I met on the street outside my building the other day.

It was another hot summer day, and I was moving around like a lizard, just to preserve energy. Suddenly I saw this adorable dog down on all four, wouldn’t move an inch, and the owner was trying to drag him up and away at the other end of the long leash. It was a power struggle all right, or rather, a stalemate in fact.

And the sight made me smile, oh, can you imagine a smiling lizard now?

I bent down to talk to the dog, and asked the owner if the dog was too tired or too thirsty because of the damn heat. But he just shook his head and smiled embarrassingly, while the dog finally got up and greeted me.

We played for a while, me and the dog, I mean. And then I stood up to leave, thinking the owner wouldn’t have any trouble to take the dog home now. But as soon as the owner started to lead the dog away, the dog hit the ground all four again, refusing to move. It was so funny and I laughed out loud.

So the owner finally told me the dog was demanding to go to the park in the other direction. Well, guess who won the battle of will in the end?

As I watched the happy little dog leading the reluctant owner to the park, I was thinking to myself, hey, that dog was as stubborn as all the Japanese people here in Tokyo, who stay at their posts and keep on doing whatever they need to do, earthquake or not. 

And their stubbornness makes me smile too.

433. I Can See Clearly Now

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f68uFGwLd84

On Phase 1, I placed many personal ads in Metropolis and attracted hundreds of weirdoes, although some of the weirdest ones have become my friends now. On Phase 2, I decided to give speed dating a try, which turned out to be another terrible mistake. On Phase 3, I started using an on-line dating website, which also proved to be a complete disaster. On Phase 4, I gave up on the men in Tokyo altogether and just enjoyed being single and free.

With my academic background, my search was systematic and methodical, and my approach was rational and analytical. I wasn’t desperate at all. I didn’t take the first heart on offer, nor the second, nor the third….  But I didn’t play around either, because I never wanted to hurt anyone, especially after what I had been through myself. And I certainly didn’t sleep around, mind you.

In my quest for love, I was trying to find "the one," but through the process I’ve found myself. And when I started this blog, I just wanted to write down everything before I forgot, but in the end I’ve finished a book!

I always enjoy writing, and I will never give up writing, although it can be very lonely sometimes. To be honest, I don’t think I would have finished this project if there had not been a few good friends’ constant encouragement and support. Thank you, guys! You know who you are.

Also, to protect the people around me, I’ve done my best to hide everyone’s true identity. I’ve changed not only the names, but also almost everything else. And if you think you might have recognized someone you know in my blog, let me tell you something, one of my friends couldn't even find the post about himself, after I told him I had written about him!

Now I am looking forward to having it published, even though I’m really lazy about getting rich and famous. In fact, I have decided to make it into a book simply because I believe this blog deserves a wider audience, and I hope it can help the readers to find themselves as well.

Looking back at my journey, well, I've got just one thing to say now, "What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger!"

Thank you for reading my blog. And if you want to contact me directly, please write to me at professor.usagi@gmail.com.

432. Jar Of Hearts

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8v_4O44sfjM

In my quest for love, I’ve collected quite a few hearts by mistake, even though I’ve never intended to hurt anyone. But one thing I am certain is, they might have felt heart-broken for a while, but they all recovered pretty fast and moved on without any hesitation.

All the men I have met are probably very nice, some might be even considered great catches. But now I have a very clear idea about what I want in a man. And the problem is, they might be nice, but they are not right for me. Most of them don’t even understand me!

They all thought they loved me, even though they didn’t really understand me. Some have tried their best, but failed. Other couldn’t be bothered, because they didn’t believe it’s worth their time. But they all thought they loved me, although they just loved the idea of being in love with me. In fact, all they wanted was for me to love them. None of them really loved me, because you can't possibly love anybody if you don't even understand her!

So now, what is love? I often evaluate love by asking myself this question, “Will he take care of me if I suddenly find out that I have a terminal disease? And will I do the same for him?”

When I started this blog, I thought it would be just a journey of self-healing. But during the process, it has helped me to understand even more about myself. It has also crystallized what I always believed before but didn’t really know clearly, such as what I want, what I don’t want, how I want it, and how I don’t want it.

This blog began a bit like a research paper for social study, based on all the raw data I have gathered and the experiments I have conducted for the last one and a half years. But while writing I started to see myself evolving in my quest for love and the transformation was fascinating. I also tried to be honest to myself throughout the whole project.

So later my blog gradually shed the documentation style and has come alive, as I slowly felt more and more comfortable about revealing myself. But this is not a research paper after all. It's not a news article or an advert, either. I don’t have to stay objective or sing anyone’s praises. Everything is based on my own experience and observation.

Many of my writer friends are writing in order to escape into a world they create, and many of my musician friends are composing to break free from their daily lives. For me though, music and words can always take me somewhere far away. But I don’t need to escape. I enjoy my life too much. I think all I need is just a closure of some sort.

And I hope this blog can also help people learn how to love and be loved, which is the reason why we are here, the meaning of life, I believe.

431. Your Mama Don’t Dance and Your Daddy Don’t Rock & Roll

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aB5JRS6JOck

Julie and I went to Andrew’s gig again last night. We also invited Paul the photographer. And there we ran into Pat, my other photographer friend, with his friend and also a professional photographer called Martin, from Germany.

It was a night of photographers. Tokyo is infested with misbehaving male photographers! It’s about time we had some naughty female ones, don’t you think?

Pat and I had a disastrous photo shoot before, well, he worships himself and his photos, but I don’t, while Paul and his gorgeous Australian assistant, Ann, just did a very successful one with me last week.

Martin soon exhibited the first sign when some photographers spot me, staring at me intensely while imagining the light and studying the angles. He gave Julie and me his business cards, and asked me for a photo shoot.

But for some reason, he decided to dance at his seat all night, instead of joining us on the dance floor. He really has nothing to worry about, but I suppose he doesn’t know that Julie only bites when she is told to, and I only bite when I am told not to.

Although later after Martin made sure Paul and I are not at all romantically involved, and with some more drinks in him, he proposed marriage to me, 100% jokingly I hope.

The most humiliating thing is, I was there when Paul and Martin discussed me as a model, as if I were not there! Hello, I am not just an object!!! And they both agreed I am a natural, which I happened to disagree. I hate most of my snapshots, and I am NOT a model.

Plus I never consider myself beautiful. Those photographers are always surrounded by supermodels. Seriously, I don’t understand why they want to shoot me, except for other-than-professional reasons.

Julie later confessed on our way home that she finally believed how fast men could fall in love with me, after she witnessed what happened every singe time we went out. And she also agreed I had never done anything to encourage them.

You see, I am definitely not an attention seeker. I am confident enough. I don’t need any unsolicited attention. In fact, I often resent it! And I am not a narcissist either, because I honestly believe that true beauty is from within.

But I do love photography and I have a passion for fashion. After I publish a book and write a song, I am going to take on photography and start making dresses again.

The band was great that night. Andrew really has a way with his saxophone! I don’t know the other band members, but during their break, the singer came and thanked me for dancing and asking me to stay for the second half of the gig.

Well, Julie and I were planning to stay anyway. So again we danced, and the men watched and drooled…

Now if you think we shouldn’t dance simply because of that, I will then kindly ask you to return to your cave and not watch. And in case you wonder, we also refuse to wear burkas!

Look, just to be fair, men can always walk around in micro-bikinis. We girls will have no objections! Deal?

430. Jailhouse Rock

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpCU7YeTikc&feature=fvst

Andrew is the reason I started blogging.

He is seriously weird. He is Scottish, and plays soccer, chess and saxophone. I met him one night at his gig. It was a strange night.

A photographer friend who was shooting the band that night invited me to the gig. I ran into my big German friend there, who was there with a young ambitious American headhunter. I think his name was Tim, who told me later that I could make any man do anything for me. Yeah right, I wish!

Andrew was trying to take pics of me all night, and finally cornered me successfully when I was talking to the photographer. He gave us his business cards after taking a pic of us.

Later I found out he is safely married with a son, and has quite a respectable job, not exactly a dirty middle-aged man playing in a band and chasing young girls as I thought at first.

So we became friends on Facebook. But we didn’t meet again until about 2 months ago, when he suddenly wrote to me and asked if I still remembered him. Of course I did.

So we had lunch and talked. Now, I must say that not many people can make me talk. But somehow he did. He has this childlike stubbornness to find out everything about anything he finds interesting. He is shy and reserved, but only on the surface.

He insisted on knowing my story, including all the gory detail. I tried to spare him the whole saga, but he wouldn’t give up. So I had to tell him everything, including my suicide attempt after I found out the extent of my ex-husband’s betrayal. Then Andrew went quiet for a few minutes.

I didn’t know why until later I saw the tears in his eyes. He then told me he admired the way I picked up the pieces and moved on. And he said I should write my story.

Many of my friends had told me just that before, but it was Andrew who finally convinced me that I had something worth sharing.

After lunch, he gave me a tour of his office. I found many books on their bookshelves, including the latest Grisham, which he kindly lent to me, after a thorough inspection to ensure there was no embarrassing piece of paper in the book.

I told Andrew that I like Grisham, who I happen to think much better than Jeffery Archer. Then he proudly informed me that he had made his acquaintance with Mr. Archer back in the UK. So I had to ask if he met Mr. Archer before or after he went to jail.

Well, I just couldn’t resist!

429. The Future’s So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQ_qNbfh9ps

It’s another scorching hot summer day, although it’s wonderful to see the blue sky again and watch the curtain dancing with the gentle breeze through the open window.

Summer is my favorite season, but honestly I am not sure how we are going to survive this coming summer without air conditioning. But it seems we have 2 options here, either a total meltdown of our nuclear power plants, or living like fish swimming around in their own sweat. Yuk!

Julie has a fantastic theory about this summer. She believes the nation-wide pant-up energy from the earthquake is slowly being released and people are steadily going crazy now. Maybe that’s also why we need so many summer festivals where we can dance, eat, and get semi-comatose drunk with the crowd.

Last year I took a traditional Japanese dance lesson, but chickened out on the day of festival. This year I have promised myself that I will definitely go and dance. But I am not sure if I will wear the traditional Japanese “bathrobe,” yukata. I know it’s cute, but it’s so hot, and I can’t show off any of my legs or boobs!

Or I might just wear the summer dress I bought in Forever 21 last week. It’s got excellent ventilation.

When I tried on that dress in the shop, I liked it so much that I wanted to wear it out right away. So I went to the cashier, still in the dress, and asked to pay for it. But the girl told me I had to first take it off and then pay. I wasn’t allowed to just pay and leave in it.

Of course I had to know why. But the poor girl couldn’t give me any reason at all, except repeating like a parrot that it was their store policy. I always believe rules are there to be broken. But that day was too hot for any rational discussion, so I was ready to follow any rules if there were any good enough reasons.

Finally the girl called for help, and the manager came and told me it was OK. So I paid and left, but I didn’t feel like celebrating my small victory. I’ve been here in Japan for a long time, but something never changes.

When I first came here, I couldn’t get a cheese hamburger without cheese in McDonald’s because it was not allowed. I couldn’t speak any Japanese at that time, so I didn’t demand to know the reason. And after all these years, I still wonder why sometimes!

They always stick to rules. Is it because they are afraid to use their own brains? 

428. I Put A Spell On You

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ua2k52n_Bvw&feature=fvwrel

In the summer we often have to go to the beer garden, and hopefully get drunk enough to forget about the heat.

I was invited to a beer garden yesterday for yet another farewell party, this time Nick, who is taking his family back to the UK.

Many of his colleagues were there with their Japanese wives and kids. Julie and I stood out big time, me in my barely respectable mini-skirt and her in her definitely indecent hot pants.

The unfortunate bloke sitting next to the pair of us is Paul from the UK, married with a kid. When he told us he is a photographer, Julie and I exchanged a look in alarm.

But to our great relief, he turned out to be quite normal. With an open smile and self-depreciating sense of humor, he was pretty laid-back and likable. He seemed harmless enough, especially when he portrayed himself as a devoted family man.

We three chatted away easily about anything and everything, but as the beer kept flowing, our initially rather intelligent discussion gradually deteriorated and our jokes became more and more juvenile.

And he changed too. He started to look at me funnily. In fact, he simply couldn’t take his eyes off me, and of course he also took loads of pics of me with his humongous camera. In his drunkenness, he told me several times that he was captured by me. But I swear I didn’t put a spell on him!

To be honest, I was very disappointed, because I genuinely liked him at first. It’s extremely difficult to find interesting but still nice people here in Tokyo.

After Julie and I hugged Nick good-bye, we left the party. She had another party to catch, and I headed home alone. But on my way home, I was still upset about what happened earlier, when I suddenly heard someone shouting something in Japanese.

As I turned around, without stopping, I found a Japanese man in his early 20’s asking me again if I was going home. So I politely told him in English that I didn’t speak Japanese, while I kept walking.

He was very surprised, but quickly recovered and caught up with me, saying in English this time, “Please just wait!” I ignored him, and luckily, he didn’t follow me.

My mum is right, Tokyo is a very dangerous city!

427. My Bloody Valentine

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SPj0A_qkCS4

Every year today, we celebrate Tanabada Festival in Japan. People write down their wishes on small pieces of paper and tie them on bamboos. Don’t ask me why, but it’s just what we do.

This festival is actually from China, like almost everything else in the Japanese culture. The story is about a princess, hey, don’t go away! Come back, please!

Anyway, it’s a very romantic story, and today is the only day in the whole year when the princess gets to reunite with the prince. In China, people consider today their traditional Valentine’s Day.

We all know the "real" Valentine’s Day was cooked up by the ancient Romans and later reintroduced by the businessmen in the West. And now it is firmly embraced by the festival loving Japanese.

I still remember I was quite bitter about it this year, so I gave all my single girlfriends the following advice:

Valentine ideas for single girls


-- Book a nude photo shoot with the most handsome male photographer in town

-- Drink lots of champagne and then make chocolate with your girl pals


-- Buy yourself expensive lingerie


-- Skype your ex-es one by one in the above-mentioned lingerie
...

Then one of my male friends said, “I'm a professional photographer specializing in nude shots and lingerie!!! Great rates and available anytime. :)” And I replied, “fantastic! my grandmother just asked me to book you!”

Now, is Valentine’s Day really about love? Some of my friends have started calling me “Dr. Love, “ despite my objection. Actually I much prefer the name “Professor Usagi.” And in case you still have no idea what usagi means in Japanese. Well, it means rabbit. So yeah, that makes me Professor Bunny, I suppose.

But I am definitely not “Dr. Love.” I am still a student of love myself! And I really don’t understand what Valentine’s Day is for. Why don’t we just rename it Chocolate Day? It’s much more appropriate anyway!

426. You Can Leave Your Hat On

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQrmhYfl-B0

When Julie and I went to the local pub the other night, there was a dangerously drunken woman there. She kept falling over, sometimes face up, sometimes face down, and once she knocked down one of the big speakers and fell onto the stage. Great fun to watch!

Actually I did try to help, partly out of self-protection of course. I gingerly approached her and once I caught  hold of one of her arms, escorted her back to her table, pushed her to sit down, and sternly ordered her to take a rest.

She smiled up to me innocently and promised to rest. 2 minutes, that was how long she rested. Then she returned to the dance floor with even more enthusiasm and kept on using her high-heels as the most effective weapon to gain dancing space.

Another woman was smoking while dancing vigorously at the same time. She was young and cute, but still, I have to admire her dance partner’s courage, although sure enough, her cigarette burned him in 5 minutes.

I had my closest experience of threesome with this couple when the man took my hand, sandwiched me with his partner and we 3 danced for a while, all moving awkwardly, which is exactly how I imagine threesome anyway.

Towards the end of the night, the band asked the crowd to donate some beautiful girls to join them on stage. Julie was immediately carried to the stage. I was sitting at the far back at that time, so I thought I was rather safe, until a man came charging and dragged me onto the already over-crowded stage to join the other 7 or 8 clueless girls.

Then the band started playing “You Can Leave Your Hat On,” one of the songs I often dance to in front of my bedroom mirror, alone.

A man thrust his hat on Julie’s head, which suited her perfectly. And she is a great dancer! But I was reluctant to dance for all the drooling men there, so I decided to have my back turned to the audience, which apparently was a stupid mistake, because in my embarrassment, I completely forgot I was wearing a halter top which left my back almost entirely bare that night!

After the song finally ended, I was the first one jumping off the stage. Many men then came and congratulated me on how sexy I was. One of them asked if I was from Egypt. What, me dancing like Egyptians now?

Later when Julie was in the toilet, a guy came and tried to chat me up. He is a painter from Israel. I quite like painters, but unfortunately, he asked if I knew where Israel was…Good question, but how would I know if he already forgot himself!!!

425. Am I The Only One

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bkzp7Gp2kEU

I had the most amazing time at a local pub with Julie last night. Both of us couldn’t sleep at all after that, and in fact we are still on a high now.

The band wasn’t even that good. The guitarist is very into solo, which is a bit like masturbation in public really. The keyboard is almost non-existing, although the singer is excellent. Seriously, I suspect they just met each other yesterday.

But oh we had fun! First we had a quiet chat over some cocktails and delicious stake pie. It’s funny we never run out of topic to talk about.

Then the band started playing and the pub was soon packed. Julie and I hit the dance floor right away. We just love dancing.

And suddenly we were joined by a dodgy character called Sam. He is English, vertically challenged, definitely bi, and has an alarming BO issue. His advances on us were relentless, even after Julie claimed that we were an item, erh hang on, perhaps especially after that…

He got completely drunk later, fell helpless in love with Julie, followed her around like a lost puppy, and even tried to put her hand on his you-know-what once!

I always have trouble fighting off men in the pub or club, and Julie couldn’t provide any protection at all because she was trying to fend for herself all night as well. It’s her friendly angelic smile, I am sure!

Now I have perfected some self-defending skills to survive in a pub/bar. I avoid any eye contact and never smile, even when I feel obliged to answer a few questions in order not to appear rude or look like a retarded tart.

You see, if I look at them in the eyes, they think I am interested. If I smile, they think I want their phone numbers. And when I dance, they think I am asking for sex.

But I just can’t stop myself dancing, hey, that’s why I go there!

424. Allright

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUE4oDunYkc

I am not that good with words. I just think differently, so differently actually that perhaps my brain is not quite all right, as many people have wisely pointed out before.

Once someone told me he looked like his mum, so I asked how old his mum was, and then tried very hard to picture a 62-year-old woman’s face on a 35-year-old guy.

Another time one of my co-workers was wondering why her hair was growing so fast suddenly. So I suggested it might have something to do with the season being spring.

Last time when Julie and I went shopping, we walked past a big tree in the street. Both of us looked up, so I warned her not to open her mouth too wide, in case something unsavory fell down from the tree and sailed right into her mouth. And I meant it.

This morning I spent almost an hour looking for a summer blanket. But after a futile search, I gave up, thinking it might resurface somehow, if I just pretended not looking. And guess what? It did!

You see, I am just telling you what’s happening in my head, in plain English, no fancy words.

In fact, English is not my mother tongue, although it also gives me the perfect excuse to abuse it. What can I say, I just love words, almost as much as music, and definitely much more than images.

When I was a little girl, I spent half of my time hiding under the huge sinister piano, trying to escape any labor-intensive piano practice (well, even when I was only a baby, I instinctively knew that the most dangerous place was actually the safest), and the other half of my time living in the imaginary world I had created with my books. I had this big box full of my favorite books and I often sat inside and read, buried myself in the books literally!

I still enjoy reading, although I am writing more now because I’ve got something to say, but not because I love to play with words. In fact, although I adore words, I firmly believe ideas are much more important than words.

One of the things I hate most is having to listen to long speeches and meaningless monologues. So I’ve decided to keep my own mouth shut whenever I have nothing better to say myself.

I watch movies sometimes when I need some brainless entertainment. I think best movies always have fascinating stories and wonderful lines, while worst movies always have dazzling special effects and spectacular computer graphics.

So I shall stop for now.

423. Bad Romance

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrO4YZeyl0I&feature=fvwrel

Have you ever seen those middle-aged men roaming Shibuya and Harajuku, taking pics of pretty girls on the street with their state-of-the-art cameras equipped with huge lenses and powerful zoom.

You might think I am paranoid, what can they do with the pics? But I absolutely hate it when someone does that to me.

Unfortunately it happens to me quite often, considering I don’t go out that much. For example, last week in a park, I caught a middle-aged Japanese man taking pics of me a few yards away. He didn’t even try to hide it. And believe it or not, he kept on at it despite the death glare I was giving him!

Several days after that, I had to go to Shibuya, and I caught 2 western men doing it too. Both were middle-aged, bald, and had gigantic cameras, one patiently waited for me outside a shop and the other one did it right on the main street.

Once I took a friend to the famous old temple in Asakusa and a middle-aged Japanese man suddenly came over to ask if we would like him to take a pic for us. We were surprised, but of course we readily accepted his offer. So I gave him my camera and he took a very nice pic of us, then we thanked him and  turned to leave.

But he stopped us, quickly gave his own camera to my friend and asked, “Could you please also take a pic of me and her?”

My friend did, probably thinking it was another weird Japanese custom he couldn’t explain but should respect. And I was speechless, couldn't even say no. All I can think about now is, why didn't I make a funny face in his pic?

I’m really sick and tired of this. So I have vowed to be brave from now on. I will confront all those dirty old men when it happens again and demand to have my pics deleted from their cameras!

They probably think it’s just a harmless sport, like fishing. You see, when you catch a big fish, you take a pic, and perhaps release the fish next, depending on your moods, then go to the pub and brag to your mates with the pic as the evidence, or go home and enjoy the pic in private.

To be honest, I pity those pathetic paparazzis. They are probably just the result of bad romance. They are sexually frustrated and hungry for any stimulation, visually and otherwise. I shudder when I think about how they are going to entertain themselves with the pics they stole from me!!

422. Oh Carolina

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmnzzZyVd08

Each of my blog post has a link to a song on YouTube. The song represents what I thought about the person(s) in that specific entry, or how I felt at that time.

I always have some music on at home, whatever I am doing at the time, even when I am busy in bed. But I have to choose very carefully, especially for the busy-in-bed part.

Classical music has such a power on me that I sometimes can’t stand it. I am 100% sure I had some connection with it before, in my previous lives I mean.

But I also like R&B, Jazz, Latin, and almost everything else except techno.

Yesterday I finally had time to go through a playlist of 1,000 songs. Some I knew in the first 3 seconds that I should abandon immediately, some have an interesting introduction, but soon get boring, some are tolerable and safe, if you don't expect too much, but not many that you know from the very beginning that you can listen to again and again and never get tired of.

One of the songs I instantly fell in love with is “Oh Carolina.”

When I fall for a song, it could be very serious. I listen to it over and over again for days. I still remember once when I was 16, I had Rodrigo ‘s Guitar Concerto de Aranjuez on the whole summer, nothing else. It almost drove my parents insane. (Oh no, that’s why they are crazy now!?)

Now whenever I hear the familiarly haunting guitar melody again, the memory of that summer comes flashing back.

After numerous love affairs with different songs, now unfortunately, almost every songs has a special meaning to me and can take me back in time, whether I like it or not. Each tune carries particular memories, some happy, others sad, usually associated with the people in my past.

To be honest, sometimes it could be really dangerous just listening to music at random. Ghosts can suddenly appear out of nowhere.

But at the same time I am still discovering new songs and falling in love with them. Some generates energy and some drains emotion.

I hope one day I will find my song, or perhaps the best song is the silence that resonates two hearts of the same wavelength.

421. Fire

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCOBp1Lrlf4

Once a friend of mine was coming to Tokyo on business, so he skyped me,

Me: How long will you stay?

He: Not sure yet. How long will you spend with me?

Me: We can meet as often as you like, but I am not interested in a holiday romance.

He: I am not on holiday, and I am not interested in a holiday romance. However I would like to spend time getting to know you.

Me: Getting to know me in bed, like you’ve tried before???

He: Getting to know you means many things. I would like to see where we can go. Seeing you is about knowing you, it's not just about sex, although it would be nice if sex were part of it.

Me: That's not the most important part to me though, but I know how much

        guys need to get laid.

He:  It isn't the most important to me either, but it is important. (Smile) You

        are starting to understand us. What is important to you?

Me: Compatibility as life partners.

He: Yes... but for me, sexual compatibility is part of it. It's all linked.

Me: Let's be friends first. That's the most important part in any relationship

He: Hm…I don't mind being friends. It's a good start. It's what we have been doing here, in a sense. Are you suggesting friends with no sex?

Me: But do you really know me though? And I don't think I really understand you either.

He: I am starting to get to know you. Remember what you said that guys need to get laid. If you want guys to appreciate your needs, it stands to reason that you should appreciate theirs.

Me: So women need to be understood, and men need to get laid. Love for sex and sex for love. Now that's deep!

He: That could be a quote from “men are from Mars, women are from Venus.”
         No, it's not deep, but the essence of it is quite right.

Me:  Well, I hope you can get laid many times then!

He:  What do you mean, you hope I get laid many times?

Me:  I love sex, but only with the man who wants to understand me. Sorry!

Nobody is right or wrong here. It’s just the sad truth that men want sex, women want love. And they will be compatible only when they think it’s a fair exchange.

The best sex for most men is doing it in every possible position and every imaginable place, with every woman who is willing. And all the unwilling women will be labeled frigid, bitter, dyke, or simply a psycho.

While the best sex for most women is doing it with someone they love, although I would be lying if I said I was incapable of enjoying wild dirty, and meaningless sex.

Men might have a higher sex drive, but personally I think it’s just the result of positive reinforcement. Women are often disappointed in sex, and that’s why men think we are not that keen on sex.

So I guess basically men and women are the same, we are all interested in getting an orgasm, not only giving one, although many women are used to just giving, a bizarre idea which is unthinkable for most men!

420. That’s It, I Quit, I’m Moving On

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDszpGDlEGs

A friend asked for my advice the other day. He is a Japanese salaryman, married with a teenage son, and very much in love, although unreciprocated, with his piano teacher.

He was wondering if he should quit the piano lessons. All he wanted to talk about was his piano teacher.

But I told him I wanted to talk about his marriage first, because he had no right to even consider anything else, before he decided what to do with his marriage.

If he believed there was nothing worth saving with his marriage, then he should just go ahead and get a divorce right away, because he deserved to be happy again. But if he still wanted to stay in his marriage, he should start saving it, now.

I’ve sensed his marriage was in trouble. But I didn’t want to intrude. So I was glad that he brought it up himself, and he obviously trusted me.

He said he wanted to try to save his marriage. Then I suggested that he should stop his piano lessons immediately, and start to behave, because once the trust is broken, his marriage will never be the same again. But he was reluctant. He asked me how to find the courage to quit.

I just can’t believe how weak men are sometimes. Simply appalling!

So I told him to first figure out what he really wanted, and then he would have a clear idea what to do, which in turn would give him the courage he desperately needed.

He went away still confused. But I hope what I said could at least wake him up from his daydreaming. I know he has a heart of gold, and he will find the right path eventually.

Of course it’s hard to quit once you have the addiction. But if you are only considered a nuisance and it brings you nothing else but pain, why would you keep doing it to yourself, unless you are a masochist?!

In fact, I sometimes suspect the whole nation is masochists.