Jul 5, 2011

425. Am I The Only One


I had the most amazing time at a local pub with Julie last night. Both of us couldn’t sleep at all after that, and in fact we are still on a high now.

The band wasn’t even that good. The guitarist is very into solo, which is a bit like masturbation in public really. The keyboard is almost non-existing, although the singer is excellent. Seriously, I suspect they just met each other yesterday.

But oh we had fun! First we had a quiet chat over some cocktails and delicious stake pie. It’s funny we never run out of topic to talk about.

Then the band started playing and the pub was soon packed. Julie and I hit the dance floor right away. We just love dancing.

And suddenly we were joined by a dodgy character called Sam. He is English, vertically challenged, definitely bi, and has an alarming BO issue. His advances on us were relentless, even after Julie claimed that we were an item, erh hang on, perhaps especially after that…

He got completely drunk later, fell helpless in love with Julie, followed her around like a lost puppy, and even tried to put her hand on his you-know-what once!

I always have trouble fighting off men in the pub or club, and Julie couldn’t provide any protection at all because she was trying to fend for herself all night as well. It’s her friendly angelic smile, I am sure!

Now I have perfected some self-defending skills to survive in a pub/bar. I avoid any eye contact and never smile, even when I feel obliged to answer a few questions in order not to appear rude or look like a retarded tart.

You see, if I look at them in the eyes, they think I am interested. If I smile, they think I want their phone numbers. And when I dance, they think I am asking for sex.

But I just can’t stop myself dancing, hey, that’s why I go there!