Jul 6, 2011

426. You Can Leave Your Hat On


When Julie and I went to the local pub the other night, there was a dangerously drunken woman there. She kept falling over, sometimes face up, sometimes face down, and once she knocked down one of the big speakers and fell onto the stage. Great fun to watch!

Actually I did try to help, partly out of self-protection of course. I gingerly approached her and once I caught  hold of one of her arms, escorted her back to her table, pushed her to sit down, and sternly ordered her to take a rest.

She smiled up to me innocently and promised to rest. 2 minutes, that was how long she rested. Then she returned to the dance floor with even more enthusiasm and kept on using her high-heels as the most effective weapon to gain dancing space.

Another woman was smoking while dancing vigorously at the same time. She was young and cute, but still, I have to admire her dance partner’s courage, although sure enough, her cigarette burned him in 5 minutes.

I had my closest experience of threesome with this couple when the man took my hand, sandwiched me with his partner and we 3 danced for a while, all moving awkwardly, which is exactly how I imagine threesome anyway.

Towards the end of the night, the band asked the crowd to donate some beautiful girls to join them on stage. Julie was immediately carried to the stage. I was sitting at the far back at that time, so I thought I was rather safe, until a man came charging and dragged me onto the already over-crowded stage to join the other 7 or 8 clueless girls.

Then the band started playing “You Can Leave Your Hat On,” one of the songs I often dance to in front of my bedroom mirror, alone.

A man thrust his hat on Julie’s head, which suited her perfectly. And she is a great dancer! But I was reluctant to dance for all the drooling men there, so I decided to have my back turned to the audience, which apparently was a stupid mistake, because in my embarrassment, I completely forgot I was wearing a halter top which left my back almost entirely bare that night!

After the song finally ended, I was the first one jumping off the stage. Many men then came and congratulated me on how sexy I was. One of them asked if I was from Egypt. What, me dancing like Egyptians now?

Later when Julie was in the toilet, a guy came and tried to chat me up. He is a painter from Israel. I quite like painters, but unfortunately, he asked if I knew where Israel was…Good question, but how would I know if he already forgot himself!!!