I Do

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0oyglKjbFQ&ob=av3e

The third and final part of the day was the “second party” in a trendy restaurant where basically anyone could just walk in. I was exhausted by then, but also very glad that I didn’t have any weddings myself, even if I could look as stunning as the bride for just one day.

Oh no, I simply won’t survive. I think you have to be extremely fit both mentally and physically to have a proper wedding. But it might be a good thing after all. Any couple who can go through that together will certainly stick forever!

I finally got to talk to the newly-weds a bit at the second party and started to understand why they chose to have a traditional Japanese wedding, instead of a fake church wedding which is far more popular here in Japan. They obviously still believe in family and tradition, which is very rare to see nowadays.

Having experienced myself and also seen so many tragic endings of marriages, you would think I am too cynical to believe in fairy tales now. But somehow I know this time this extraordinary couple will be all right, perhaps it’s the way their friends smiled at them in tears, or perhaps it’s how much time, effort and love they have put into the preparation for their special day to mark the beginning of their new lives together.

Thank you guys, for making me believe again. Sorry, I think I will finally cry now!

Spend My Life With You

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVAvWBgG_BI

Have you been to a traditional Japanese wedding? Well, I went to my first one yesterday. I know I should probably wait for my memory to distill before I write about it, but I really feel it's the most beautiful Japan experience I've ever had so far, even after all these years in Japan.

The ceremony was held in Meiji shrine where the couple exchanged vows and received God’s blessing in front all the people important to them (except me, who they met for the first time and were generous enough to let me be part of it!)

With the bride’s family sitting on one side, and the groom’s the other, the ceremony started. Not only the couple got to drink some sake to seal the deal, but we also got some to drink, which symbolizes the unification of two families. (I don’t know why I just remembered a scene in Godfather…)

Although I was very busy trying not to break too many rules at once, especially after the embarrassing incident of me taking pics when I shouldn’t have, I still had time to appreciate this wonderful ancient ritual accompanied by the Japanese flute and koto music, and they’ve even got a bit of Shinto chanting and dancing going. You know how much I adore musicals!

But seriously, I was so moved at the end that I even found myself praying with the priest and wishing the newly-weds sail to their new lives together happily and safely, always hand in hand, in the sun but especially in the storm.

No wonder people cry at weddings! Many did yesterday at the banquet after the ceremony, including the groom and the parents when the couple was making the thank-you speeches to their parents. First I couldn't decide if I should join in and cry, and then I lost my chance altogether when they thanked us for coming.

Being a foodie, the food at the banquet in Meiji Kinenkan was definitely something to remember too, but the wedding cake was just gorgeous and get this, it was designed by the groom, not the bride! 

(to be continued)

It Ain’t What You Do (It’s The Way You Do It)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jyp1tyQ5s1A

I was such a nerd growing up, and perhaps still am.

At school, I am afraid I was rather a challenge for my teachers. Exams were just a game to me, so instead I borrowed many books from the library and read them in the class, which obviously didn’t make my teachers very happy. But finally they relented, I was allowed to read anything I liked in the class, as long as I submitted a weekly report on the books I had finished that week.

And at home I was not allowed to help with housework because my parents wanted me to study or practice the piano. They were hoping I would become a doctor or a concert pianist one day. But of course I had completely different ideas.

At first I wanted to be a lawyer because I was always talkative, then a journalist because I asked many questions, next a librarian because I loved books and fortunately I also learned to listen.

Then I wanted to be an orchestra conductor because then I could be bossy without any excuses, and finally an accountant because I happened to find myself good at numbers, I mean, compared with my American classmates...

So now I teach. And I love it. I can talk about anything that takes my fancy, ask students all kinds of questions and they have to answer, be as bossy as I choose to be, grade their papers and exams with only prime numbers if I am in the mood, and still read any books I like!

I've finally found the perfect job for myself.

It’s My Party

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gceGGSSxDqo

I am no party animal, but I love giving parties, which I believe has something to do with my genetic yearning of feeding people. Or perhaps it's because I can't eat much, so I have to content myself with vicarious eating.

2 weeks ago I had a potluck, about 25 people turned up and we had a blast. After a mini-concert, a tango dance, and lots of beer, wine, sake, and cocktail, everybody left to catch the last train home. When I was cleaning up the mess, I felt grateful and rich. I am grateful that I have so many friends who have enriched my life.

That night I met many wonderful new friends, including a refreshingly bubbly girl from Singapore who was the life and soul of the party. And many of my old friends came so that we could finally catch up again. Even those who couldn’t make it also replied to my invitation and we made sure we were all still alive.

And the best part of the evening is when I saw people exchanging contact info, because then I knew they had found some connection, which may or may not flourish into anything, but at least it’s a start. And in a big city like Tokyo, we can lose ourselves so easily. We all need friends.

That's why I am especially grateful to my guardian angels, the few friends I know I can always count on. And they also know I will always be there for them whenever they need me.

Last night I invited some of them over and I cooked. Well I cooked too much as usual. But oh they loved the food, so now I am really glad I don’t have to eat the same leftover every day this week. And we talked, drank, and then talked and drank some more, until one of them fell asleep on the sofa…

The best way to enjoy life is to have a few good friends around and party till dawn!

Do Me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZieygZyvw4A

I hesitate to admit this, but I think I am probably qualified as an expert of sexual harassment.

Well, I have sued a company for that once, although we settled before actually going to court. In the end I sort of won, in terms of money. But I lost all my ambition climbing the corporate ladder. I bet there are not many CPAs sitting at home writing now.

To be honest, I hate confrontations. Seriously, I don’t bite, I only write! But what else can a girl do after being fired for refusing to have a nightcap with her boss in his hotel room? Sorry, I am not one of his Asian sex dolls.

And I am sure even now he still thinks it was all my fault, with my long raven hair, big brown eyes, etc etc… You see, I should have cut my hair short, dyed it platinum blond, and worn thick glasses. (OMG, did I just start another fantasy here?)

When I first came to Japan, I worked for a Swiss company which had the typical organization structure of the foreign companies in Japan, with the top management all from the homeland and the rest of the employees all Japanese. And I was shocked at how primitive and politically incorrect the working environment was for the women there.

Once I ran into 4 or 5 middle-aged male coworkers in the corridor, and heard one of them saying loudly to the others, “Hey she is quite a looker, isn’t she?” I guess I was not really there in his eyes.

It had never occurred to them that a girl might have more degrees than any of them, and possess a much higher IQ than all of them can put together, even if she did somehow resemble a doll.

Although my fellow Japanese female colleagues didn’t seem to mind, I was simply amazed. And I know many other foreign women also have similar experience here. No wonder we have all developed pretty thick skin over the years.

Many Japanese women work till they get married or have a baby. And even those who stay usually have clerical work (i.e., fetch coffee and look cute), not professional or managerial. The workplace is still a boys’ club here basically.

One of my friends working for a big Japanese bank told me they are now trying to increase the diversity by hiring more women. And in the future, they will hire more foreigners and handicapped people! :)

Things are certainly changing, but I can already see lots of conflicts coming at the same time that will be unavoidable. More and more women will not tolerate what I had to put up with. Hmmm, it will be fun to watch.

But now I will just sit here and smile at my doorknob hanger hidden behind my office door and only I can see. It says,“ Sexual harassment will not be reported, but it will be graded.”

Can’t Take My Eyes Off You

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPp2r7mGZPU&feature=related

Now what's the most interesting thing you have ever eaten? Snake? Frog? Turtle? Scorpion? Or bat?

I have had all of the above before, although it's hardly a surprise considering my cultural heritage. But you know what? They all taste like chicken, well except scorpion, which is more like burnt potato chips with a kick.

As you know, Japanese eat raw stuff. I have no problem with that usually, sometimes I am too lazy to cook too. But as adventurous as I am, I hate having my food moving on its own on my dining table, not to mention in my mouth.

Once I almost fell off my chair when I suddenly noticed the prawn trying to make its escape from my plate. They call it "odorigui," which means eating while it's still dancing. The most disgusting example is abalones grilled alive in front of you, so that you can enjoy watching them slowly dancing to their final death. I just don't have the stomach for that!

Also I lose my appetite when it’s visually disturbing. For instance, I heard about this old Japanese restaurant famous for its loach pot (dojou nabe). But can you imagine having a pot of little fish with their beady eyeballs still attached staring up accusingly at you? Which one will you eat first then? That one there with kind of smiling eyes?

But the most traumatic experience I have ever had (so far) regarding food is pineapple. You don’t believe me? OK, let me tell you, I was about 6 then, my mum gave me a slice of pineapple and I took a huge bite, found it especially sweet and juicy, in fact, the most delicious pineapple I had ever had. And then I looked down at the half-eaten pineapple in my hand and saw many small white things wriggling around vigorously and obviously loving the pineapple very much too. 

Sorry, I don’t really want to be gross, not here anyway!!!

Well you can’t really blame me for still having my reservation about pineapples till these days. And since then I've also developed a bizarre habit of first making sure everything stays dead still in my plate before I even pick up my chopsticks.

All right, your turn now, tell me, what’s the next item on your “gotta try one day” list? Oh and by the way, I suppose we don't really believe in "you are what you eat," do we?

Can’t Stop

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ZPfzjp82sY

My uni is offering influenza vaccination shots at a reduced price. Many people have a cold now, and the main symptom is cough. In the class, office, café, train, you hear people coughing everywhere.

But the most common disease people have nowadays is commitment phobia. People don’t commit anymore, to their partners, their careers, even to their lives. 

Hey, why should you be trapped in a dead-end relationship or job, or a certain life? You can always find imperfection in everybody and everything. It makes perfect sense to keep moving on, and never stop.

And if you happen to be a control freak, when things are out of control, and you feel insecure or pressurized, the only thing that remains in your power is to end it all as soon as you come up with enough excuses.

If you are in a relationship and you don’t want to shoulder the blame, you can easily sabotage the relationship by constantly annoying, criticizing and hurting your partner, until your partner can’t stand you anymore and gives up on you.

That’s why unattainable partners are very convenient, like in a long-distance relationship or an affair. You are safe then, nobody has the power to hurt you.

Now if you are the shy type and content being alone, it’s not much of a problem. You can always take up writing, photography, or something.

But if you are the afraid-to-be-lonely type and thus a serial commitment phobic, you might then be labeled as being picky by your friends if you've got any, and promiscuous by your many exes. My suggestion is to befriend a psychiatrist or God, and tell her all your problems.

I think the best for everybody’s sake is pairing up all the people with commitment phobia so that they can play with each other and have all the fun they want, and we will have a much more peaceful world.

And just out of curiosity, is there a vaccination shot for commitment phobia? I would really hate to catch it!