Cheers

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7KtAgAMzaeg

I just don't get the bar culture. Well I used to enjoy the sitcom "Cheers", but I still wonder till this day why people go to the same smelly dark place every night and drink with the same people who they don’t even consider friends. To swap jokes with them - the jokes they feel funny only when they are sufficiently drunk? To flirt with girls they think hot only when they are wearing the beer goggles? Sorry, but I have a real hard time understanding the whole thing.

Are they afraid to stay home alone? Don't they have any hobbies? Is that why every night after work, they go home, shower and change so that they can go out again feeling pretty and smelling enticing, and then spend the evening sitting there drinking with all the other lonely people?

Maybe I am just an antisocial loser. Maybe people don't understand why I'd rather stay home and read, write, play music, or watch Seinfeld again. In my defense though, I do occasionally go out with a friend or two, sample the best food Tokyo can offer, and have a proper conversation over some drinks. I stay away from the gym due to my allergy to sports, but I would love to start dancing tango again. An evening at the opera, concert or movies would also be wonderful.

But Japanese have their unique bar culture too. After an exhausting day in the office, their choice of the evening entertainment is to grab a bite to eat at an izakaya (Japanese beer house) and drink until it’s time to catch the last train home.

The most interesting thing is, their choice of drinking companions is usually their coworkers - yup, the people they see all day every day. And together they bad-mouth everybody they know, especially their boss - which is called “nominication” in Japan, meaning “communication through drinking (nomi.)”

It simply amazes me what people have got to do to unwind. Hmmm, perhaps I just don’t have enough stress!

Masquerade

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FwoLNtUuCVk

Why do people like costumes? Cosplay is huge here in Tokyo. But if you are shy, you can go and eat Korean BBQ dressed like Queen Anne even if you are a man, or walk around in Harajuku as a banana and nobody would think you’ve gone bananas.

My imagination of that sort is pretty limited. I wore my Chinese dress to the only two costume parties I’ve ever been to and each time encountered about 2 dozen other girls also in Chinese dresses.

Of course I have some other kinky stuff at home like nurse/maid/waitress/schoolgirl costumes – but strictly for my bedroom mirror, mind you. I’ll never wear any of them out to a party since I don’t really want some middle-aged Japanese man to come up to me and ask how much.

One costume though is often associated with me in many of my friends’ fantasy – Catwoman. I suppose it’s because I already look like one minus the whip even without the outfit. You see, most of my clothes are black and my eyes are a bit cat-like. I often feel that I resemble a ninja anyway.

Costume parties are great fun because we don’t have to be our usual boring selves anymore. We are set free to play different characters and we can all go absolutely wild, as long as we remember to keep our faces well under the masks.

But hey, come to think of it, who needs costume parties here? Everyday is Halloween in Tokyo!

You Don’t Know Me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRgQns-TJGM

I am sure most Caucasians living here in Tokyo have this experience – the waitress is only talking to your Japanese friends because she thinks you don’t speak the language.  It’s always fun when I go out with a Caucasian friend whose Japanese is better than mine and watch his annoyed face because the waitress ignores him completely. Well I might look more Japanese than my friend, but it doesn’t necessarily mean I can speak better Japanese than him.

But this time when I was in the Kiwiland, I had this interesting conversation - a very kind man asked me very slowly, “How much English can you understand? Every other word? Every third word?” So I smiled up at him sweetly and replied, “Every word, unfortunately.”

Of course I understand he was just trying to be nice. I certainly don’t look like a native English speaker. And for them, all Asians are from China - just like for Japanese, all Caucasians are from America.

Some of my new Kiwi friends decided, after talking to me, that I am “normal” after all and that I am more European than Asian when they talk to me. I suppose I should be happy that they’ve accepted me – if only they knew how abnormal I am!

But I am still wondering if I should buy a T-shirt saying, “I am a mail-order bride. Please speak VERY slowly.”

Melting Pot

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4VqIPuiUlA

I just got back from the Kiwiland again – with my newly acquired MRS title this time and a blinding rock on my ring finger, still dazed but no longer confused.

One morning when we were at a café there, it suddenly struck me as odd that the only Asian faces we saw in most places we visited were all behind the counters.

Auckland has an amazing diversity of cultures. But it seems that all those cultures haven’t really been properly melted into one pot yet. In fact, it’s only half-cooked now.

I watched this movie on the flight back, “Apron Strings.” It’s a serious chick flick (oh yes, it can be done!) about two New Zealand families – one Indian and the other Caucasian. An engaging story as well as thought provoking. It reminds me of another movie, The Joy Luck Club.

To be honest, I am used to being stared at anyway - being a teacher (and a gorgeous one)! But it’s disconcerting to hear people talking like I was not there. I’ve never found myself lost for words, but how do you start a conversation with a Caucasian woman at next table noisily expressing her concerns for the Caucasian men dating “all those Chinese women”?

Excuse me, but I am very concerned about the Asian women there dating “all those Caucasian men” too!

Underneath The Mango Tree

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w08uQ8RPHzg

Some men seem to feel, within a short time after we meet, that I am the woman they want to be with for the rest of their lives. I have been thinking why I get marriage proposals more often than I would like to admit normal. And I think I've found some possible reasons.

One theory is purely statistical. I surround myself with like-minded people – men who are looking for a serious relationship. When I meet a man who is not ready, I just don't go out with him. But of course we can still hang out if he doesn't think I am too boring. So in the end all the men I agree to go out with are after the same thing as me - commitment. That's why they propose quickly.

Another theory is called “eating the mango when it’s ripe.” Many years ago, I was shopping in the supermarket one day when a middle-aged Japanese man came over and picked up something from one of my shirtsleeves. It was a sticker that happened to get stuck on me when I was buying mangos earlier. He had this most peculiar grin when he handed me that sticker. It said, "I am ripe and ready to be eaten."

Who knows, perhaps I still have that sticker on me somewhere, but only invisible to me!

Saturday In The Park

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWxA3e9f6rY

Picnic is such a romantic idea in this city jungle. Green grass, blue sky, and happy people – that’s right, people. Thousands of people crammed into the same park, everyone with the very same romantic idea as you.

At first you get excited at the fresh smell of the soil, the dancing leaves of the tress, the size of the jumbo ants, etc. Practically everything in the park makes you go ooh and ahh.

But slowly you notice the uneven surface of the ground you are lying on, the blinding hot sunshine, the noise from all the kids and dogs around, etc. Then you start to miss your comfortable sofa at home.

Picnics in Tokyo are very different from those you imagine in the west. Basically they are just big outdoor parties here. Food is the main entertainment. Oh and of course people drink too. In fact, many get so pissed that they become comatose.

I love parties. And I love food. Give me a picnic anytime. But we have to be careful though. Too much nature a day is dangerous to our health!

Here For A good Time

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sl3lcTZN7fI&ob=av2e

We all collect business cards. And we give away our cards too, sometimes.

I usually don't carry mine around, because I don't know who to give them to. People can find me if they want to anyway. We are a big happy family called Facebook. But even without Facebook, everybody is somebody's friend in Tokyo. It's too easy to track people down here.

However, business cards are still very useful, especially when you want to compartmentalize your life. Some of my friends have different cards for different people, often company cards for men and private cards for women.

Don't get me wrong. I’ve got nothing against this system. But if you do that, you will just have to be careful and not hand them out at the same time. Here, nice to meet you, I would like to talk business and football with you sometimes, and here honey, let's meet up for a real good time soon.

Look, I don't feel the need to discuss football with anyone, and business is the last thing I have in mind when I meet some stranger in the pub. But hey, am I a child now? Why can't I have your real business card? Doesn’t my mini-skirt look serious enough for you?

But the worst is when someone gives your friend or partner his card and completely ignores you. You are not even a child now. You simply don't exist!

It does make me wonder though, do they still believe that a woman’s place is in the kitchen?