I have used my blogs to scare many people away, although I am definitely not the same woman who tried to take her own life 2 years ago after her divorce. In fact, I am not even the same woman who started blogging half a year ago either.
Of course I would like to believe that somewhere someone would love me the way I want to be loved one day, and most importantly, I can love him the way he wants to be loved too.
But I also believe the word "love" is over used and abused, and the concept of "love" is overrated. It takes much more than love to make a relationship work. The other 2 main ingredients are respect and commitment.
One of my exes, oh yeah the one who studied Vogue, called my writing “housewives’ entertainment,” and he meant it as a compliment, God bless him. The only other good thing he could say about me was “the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.” Luckily I am still not completely convinced that my blogs are only slightly better than yesterday’s newspaper or my beauty is something to be reverend.
Commitment is probably even trickier. The average life span for a ”serious long-term” relationship now is 3-5 years. Everybody is divorced, heartbroken, scared and scarred. But hey don’t worry, with the internet, you can find the next partner in a week, as long as you are not too picky. And look, you shouldn’t bother to choose too carefully anyway, because even in the worst scenario that you fall head over heels with someone, oh pardon me, “the one”, you will have another go in 3-5 years!
And since I have a real problem with commitment, I shall just stay out and observe for now. Because when I am in, I always fight tooth and nail to stay in for life, “for better or for worse,” “till death do us part” and all that.
So now if I can’t have it all, love, respect and commitment, I don’t want any.