Jun 19, 2011

408. You Never Can Tell


Ted, a Swiss scientist, found me next at the website. At first I thought he was “the one.”

His emails to me were extremely short, although he obviously had read my profile carefully, and his comment on my pics was funny.

I didn’t really want to find anyone in Tokyo anymore, so I didn’t really mind his short emails. I soon agreed to meet him, just as friends, we said.

When we met for the first time, he quickly exhibited every sign of a man falling hopelessly in love. Every, single, sign.

But I also know he thinks I am out of his league. I can’t really blame him. Many men feel that way with me. And I am tired of explaining I am just an ordinary girl who wants to be understood first, and then, maybe loved, if he is the right man for me.

I don’t fall easily. But Ted’s smile is simply too disarming and contagious, plus, he is really clever and never says too much. For example, he forgot to mention he and his girlfriend were still together and he was trying to get her to move to Japan and all he ever wanted was to marry her the minute she said yes.

Even though I believe he did actually fall for me, head-over-heels hard, it was such a lucky escape for me. I was strong enough to pull back quickly. I thank all my previous experience with the other losers here in Tokyo, especially my ex-husband.

Ted told me he loved both me and his girlfriend, just like the way my ex-husband loved both me and his mistress, I suppose.

So I informed him that he didn’t love me or his girlfriend, because the only person he loved was himself. Of course he didn’t agree with me. For him, his girlfriend doesn't know anything about me, so it’s OK. On the other hand, I already know about her, so it’s OK too. See, everybody is happy. We are one big happy family.

He lost all my respect after that. I asked him to stay with his girlfriend and try to solve whatever problems they had, becauseI didn’t want to be the cause of their breakup. I don’t take what’s not mine. I don’t steal!

I consider his type the most dangerous, precisely for the reason that he doesn’t look dangerous at all. He can and will hurt people easily. I know he is now trying very hard to find his next victim, while waiting for his girlfriend to move to Tokyo and join him.

Of course I understand he is just looking for happiness. Trust me, me to! I want to be happy too! But I will never hurt other people intentionally, in my pursuit of happiness. That’s the true happiness for me.

What he is doing now is very ugly. But then again, I don’t know his girlfriend or his victims, and if he thinks it’s OK to use people like that. Fine by me.

But I refuse to be used.