Jun 24, 2011

413. Such A Night


I went to a pub last night with a friend who spent all night trying to come to my place, while checking his messages on iPhone and updating his status on Facebook. I guess he was just not very impressed with the band that night.

So basically I was left alone to fend for myself. Many men gave me the once-overs, and some brave ones approached me. One had a very cute pick-up line,

He:  “Do you speak English?”
Me: “Yes?”
He: “Talk to me.”
Me: “What would you like me to talk about?”
(A painful silence ensued)
He: “Are you here alone?”
Me: “Nop.” (Pointing at my useless friend)
He: “Oh sorry.” (He then backed away.)

Actually I have also tried to pretend I didn’t speak English before. But then they would either switch to broken Japanese or just start to speak English very, very slowly…

One of my friends later advised that I should act like I didn’t hear them at all, and ignore them completely. So shall I pretend to be deaf and blind then? Hmmm, perhaps a bit difficult, but I could always work on my acting. It would be fun!

Another friend suggested that I look at them straight on, eyes open wide, and give them the recipe for a really complicated meat pie, in Spanish.

Now that’ll do it, I am sure.

OK seriously now, this is what I usually do: I stay away from pubs!

Well but if I have absolutely nothing else to do and feel like some live music and second-hand smoke, I would find a good friend or 2 to go together, and vigorously avoid any eye contact with any men there.

I have also learned that I don’t really have to dress like a nun, since it doesn’t matter what I wear anyway.

Just to give you some idea, several months ago when I was in New Zealand on holiday, I got wolf-whistled at, wearing a long baggy sweater, leggings, and a pair of old sneakers.

When I told one of my Aussie friends about it, he urged me to dress like a sheep if I wanted more action in NZ. Hmmmm, that sweater I was wearing then is 100% wool. No wonder!