May 16, 2011

120. You’re No Good

Ehhhh, sorry, I haven’t finished with the list yet…

VII. Men with different expectations from partnership.

Men whose mobile phones keep ringing during the first date. That’s good-bye and good luck. They don’t have time for any relationships. And with those who actually answer, I would just tell him I suddenly need an emergency manicure and leave immediately.

Men who never answer my phone calls. Yes, they will call me back, but they don’t answer when I call, even during their non-working hours. And I rarely call anyway, usually I just return their calls. Hmmm, sorry, but who are you with? What are you doing? Why can’t you answer, ever?

Men who Facebook. They are too busy socializing, still out on the hunt.

Men who want to see me again but their weekends are already so action-packed that our next date has to be scheduled 1 month after the first one. But hey, who knows, if I am lucky, they will suddenly call and try to meet up because something is cancelled.

Men who say “Baby, of course I love you, I spend all my free time with you!” Hello, could anyone be more arrogant and insulting than that! Yeah right, do you really think me feigning inertest in your stereo collection is my idea of fun?

Men who want to spend all their free time with me. Now, imagine when I tell him, “Oh yesterday I found this funky restaurant with a big fish tank inside, hey wait a minute, you were there with me too….”

Loners. Ehhhh, why do you want to be with me? Just for THAT? Go and get a hand massage so then you can keep going again!

VIII. Men who are not compatible with me.

Men who can’t satisfy my emotional and sexual needs. Relationship is all about give and take, or so I’ve heard.

Men who can’t appreciate the simple pleasures in life. Sunset (sunrise is too early), ice cream, an innocent smile from a little girl on the train, etc. These men are impossible to please, because they only focus on the negative.

Men who don’t read. It’s just my thing, I know. But I’ve tried it several times before, and guess what, it has never worked!

Men who can’t accept new ideas or admit and apologize for their own mistakes. Yes, darling you are always right, as usual. Bye now.

Smokers. If you really must know why, just go and kiss an ashtray.

Men with feminine hands. They remind me of my ex.

All right, that’s all for now, I think. Oh and yes, I've already sent my application to the nearest convent, no, hang on, those nuns might find me too sexy to resist too.  Oh well, perhaps I should just spend the rest of my life writing self-help books?

No comments:

Post a Comment