May 13, 2011

117. I Am Too Sexy

People often ask why I am still single, albeit “recycled.” But hey, I am dying to know why too! Wait, it’s not because I am too sexy, is it???

Or is it possible, you know, just wondering, because I have too many principles??

OK, I don’t date the following men: (Girls, if you are reading this now, watch out for these men, the professor says, don’t mess yourself up with them, read carefully and memorize the whole list, which is far more important than Top 10 Early Warning Signs of Cancer!)

I.  Men who are not ready. Timing is everything!

Married men. Never. Not after what I’ve been through. However they beg. I don’t want to hurt his wife, his children, or anyone. That’s the first rule.

Men in any forms of relationships, however insignificant they claim to be, long-distance/on-and-off/beneficiary friendship. It’s trouble!

Men on rebound, including recently divorced/separated/dumped/heartbroken, etc. I don’t play doctor. (Well, nurse is negotiable, but only the uniform though!) Now how recent is recent, hmmm, I would say 1-3 years, depending on how long the previous relationships are.

Divorced men who haven’t remarried for over 5 years. Once bitten, and all. They are goners, and also too set in their own ways already.

Men in their 40’s but have never married. Now this one is tricky. Usually they just don’t know how to share their lives. I will have to domesticate them from scratch. Hard work it is. But of course, like every rule, there are exceptions.

Men who still haven’t figured out what they want. Well, why should I be the one to convince them that they are ready for a serious relationship?

Newcomers. The inspection/experiment period can take 1-2 years, depending on ages. And then they also need time for their exhausted eyes to rest, from all the busy checking and playing, which usually takes another year.

Men who keep asking the same questions, my birthday, what I do for a living, where I live, how many brothers and sisters I’ve got, or even worse, my name.

Men who keep telling the same stuff about themselves, their birthdays, what they do for a living, where they live, how many brothers and sisters they’ve got, or even worse, their names.

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